Vacation Funny

Ok so vacation was a blast. I have one funny little story that I want to share.

Within the first hour of actually getting on the ship, I decided I was going to be difficult. Being an experienced cruiser I see myself as “A know it all”. Well, We had just arrived on the ship and the first thing we wanted to do was go eat seeing that it was the only thing we could do. And if you have seen me lately then you know I love to eat. While sitting at the buffet they made an announcement stating that everyone should report to their muster station for the safety presentation. I told my friends at the table that I have decided not to attend this required by international law event. They all thought I was crazy and thought there was no way I could get away with it, but they didn’t know me that well. I had a plan. We all reported to our room and everyone got ready to go to their muster station. I told them I would be hiding under the bed and that I would not be in attendance. They thought I was an idiot. The announcement was made that we had to report so everyone left, except for me. I forced my body under the pushed together twin beds in the middle of the room and began my protest against the man. After a few minutes had passed I heard the door to the room open. Oh crap I thought. The person came in and walked around and then walked out. I was in the clear, so I thought. After a few more minutes had passed the person returned. By this time I was pouring sweat from being under the bed. I then felt the person’s arm reaching under the bed trying to reach the comforter in the plastic bag right next to me. He grabbed it and pulled it out from under the bed not even noticing me under the bed. Then he left the room again. Wow. I was about to freak out. Keep in mind I’m breaking international law, fat, and sweating like a hooker in church. Not a good mixture. Finally after a couple of minutes the person returned. What was about to happen? Could I stay still? Would he notice me? Well he started taking the sheets off the bed. Oh crap I was thinking to myself. What do I do? Then he started to pull the two twin beds apart. OMG. I was trying to shimmy my body over as he was pulling the beds apart. He then reached over and lifted the mattress. At the same time I just gave up. I said “Wait, I’m sorry” This dude freaked and jumped up about two feet against the wall holding his chest screaming. I pulled myself out from under the bed telling him that I was sorry. He kept asking what I was doing. I told him I was just trying to scare my friends. He kept telling me I scared the Heck out of him. He finally calmed down enough for me to explain. He said you are supposed to be at your muster station, but that he really didn’t care. I went ahead and went because I had because enough pain to him. As soon as I got there they let everyone go. That guy said he would never forget that. He had been working ships for 15 years and that had never happened to him.