Bring Me A lighter

A couple of years ago I was in the office and over heard my friend Jin

talking about what he did to an ant bed. He had pushed a pipe into the

ant bed and poured in some white gas and light it. It shot a cool flame

up through the pipe. I heard this and had a wonderful idea to do this

sort of thing at home. I was living in Carrollton at the time and had

a really bad ant problem. I really wanted the ants to die so I went a

little overboard. I got a 5-gallon can of regular gas and pored most

of it all around the yard all into the ant beds. My wife at the time

asked is this a good idea and I was not too sure myself but I said sure

it is. After watching the ants freak out I decided to finish them off

really good. I asked her to get the lighter. Not too sure of the

request she did it anyway. I walked out in the middle of all of these

gas soaked ant beds and leaned down to light one of the when boom. The

gas exploded onto the ant bed then started going through the air it

seemed to the other ant beds. In seconds there were 6 ant beds on fire

surrounding me right in front of my house. I freaked out. I was

surrounded with fire. My wife ran in screaming and called the fire

department. I jumped over the fire and ran around to the other end of

the house to get the hosepipe. I cut the water on and started running

around the house with the hose and found out the hard way that I

didn’t have enough hosepipe. I rounded the corner of the house and the

hose stopped short and I ate the ground up. It was not a pretty sight.

So I picked myself up and ran back around the house to disconnect the

hose to put it on the other spicket on the other end of the house.

While all of this is going on the fire had started burning parts of my

front porch. I finally got the water going on it and after a few

minutes I got it all out. My wife told the fire department that

everything was under control. Everything except her stupid husband. So

the moral to this story is that if I ever ask you for a lighter “RUN”.